


Missed

by theremin



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-01-31 07:17:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21442336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theremin/pseuds/theremin
Summary: Filling in some gaps in s6
Relationships: Dinesh Chugtai/Bertram Gilfoyle, Jared Dunn/Richard Hendricks
Comments: 23
Kudos: 135





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm writing a way more complicated fic right now so this is just something short and sweet for fun because I've been enjoying everybody else's FIX IT JESUS fics :)

"I miss you, man," Richard said, smiling nervously, looking up at him with big blue eyes.

"Whatever, I don't care," Jared said, grateful for his emotion-concealing sunglasses. But he wasn't sure how much longer he could keep it together, he needed to get out of that office. Richard sort of danced from foot to foot, chewed his lip, then took a step forward and put both arms around Jared, tilted his head up a little. Like on instinct Jared folded downwards, enveloping Richard's waist with his hands and pressing his face into Richard's shoulder. Oh Lordy, he was definitely crying now.

"I'm a shitty hugger," Richard said in a high pitched voice. Jared could feel his body sort of hum with nervous energy. He could feel- the cheap fabric of his hoodie (bought pre-success, he remembered, from that outlet they'd passed), his thin arms around him, flyaway hairs teasing at his cheek. Richard's hair smelled like shea butter and Moroccan oil. Jared recognised the scent. He had bought Richard that shampoo after an enjoyable evening perusing forums for curly haired people (he had him down for a type 2C) and getting a lot of good advice. He'd eventually found a brand that both gave moisture and kept the integrity of the curl intact. 

Jared swallowed to keep his voice level, nonchalant. "Yeah you suck," he said, it came out okay but a little thickly.

"Jared-"

"Gotta go," Jared said, pulling away. "I need to tell Gwart the good news, and I have other stuff to do, which includes not talking to you." He stalked out of the office on long legs, he knew he could be hard to keep up with and he definitely didn't want to get caught up to right now. In his car he took the glasses off and wiped his eyes and listened to Joni Mitchell until he felt calm enough to drive. It really shouldn't be this difficult to quit a job. He thought about driving back to the hostel but ended up sending a text to Gwart explaining the situation which she replied to with a thumbs up, and then he went home to the condo. He laid down on his couch right away and half fell asleep until his phone buzzed in his pocket and woke him up. He felt bad. Poor Gwart probably needed him, what if Jian Yang was smoking inside again and Jared wasn't on fan duty? He looked at the phone and it was a message from Richard.

_Are you ok?_

Jared took a deep breath. _Not really_

_Can I come over?_ came the immediate reply.

Jared considered. _OK_ he sent. Then remembered he should probably specify. _At the condo._

He got up, felt gross, and went to take a shower.

He'd only gotten into his sleepwear, about twenty minutes later, when the doorbell rang and he went to let Richard in. He deliberated a little, then he put the sunglasses back on before opening the door.

"Oh," Richard said when he saw him. "are you going to bed?"

"No," Jared said. "come in."

He fought down the urge to offer Richard a drink or a snack, and he sat down on the couch. Richard followed, sitting down next to him, a little space between them.

"So uh," Richard said. "can you take those off."

"Take what off?"

Richard reached out, gently, and took the sunglasses off his face, folded them together and put them on the coffee table. Jared swallowed. He hoped the shower had taken care of the puffiness.

"Okay so uhhh," Richard started again. "like, things kind of, haven't been right for a while. And I'm sorry about that. Um. But like, I thought, I thought like, this was what you wanted. You have a really important - had, a really important job, in a successful business. Um, because I trusted you and I knew you were the best guy for it. But like, you act like you'd still rather make me sandwiches? And uh I guess I should have conferred with you more about your- I don't know, there's a lot of stuff I should be doing, I'm learning too, you know." He shifted a little uncomfortably. "But I guess I came over to ask, what like, what is it you actually want?"

He looked up at Jared.

"What?" Jared asked.

"I mean, seriously. Do you like, do you want the career and the prestige and the money, or do you just wanna like, take care of a usele- a CEO on a personal level, sort of startup stuff." Jared shook his head, reached for the glasses, but Richard grabbed his hand before he could get to them. "Please, Jared, I'd like to have a conversation and I can't with those things."

Jared looked at Richard's hand, closed around his wrist. "Fine. Sure. Okay." He pulled his hand back and looked Richard in the eye. "I want to kiss you."

"Uh"

Jared shrugged. "Now you know, if you didn't already."

Richard nodded. "I suck at that too," he said. Then he leant over, and gently kissed Jared's mouth, just kind of a feathery whisper of a kiss. Jared touched his own lips a little when he pulled back. Then he smiled.

"I should have clarified," he said. "I'd like you to want it too."

Richard braced himself with both hands on Jared's thighs and came in again on a tilt for another kiss, sucked Jared's bottom lip into his mouth, sealed their mouths together when Jared gasped, teased his tongue with his own. Jared helplessly kissed back and his fingers tangled in Richard's hair, one thumb shakingly traced a sharp jawbone. Richard's fingers dug into the skin of his thighs. His heart was beating so hard he felt sure Richard could hear it, its drumbeat filled his head and when Richard pulled away, breathing heavy, he felt dazed.

"I do want," Richard said, firmly, a little staccato. "I do. It's just uh. I'm not you. It's like. Talking about these things?" He shuddered. "It's so fucking hard."

"We don't have to talk."

Richard smiled a little, then he closed his eyes and leaned in again, but Jared drew back. 

"Richard," Jared whispered. "I... you know I come with a lot of baggage."

"I know, I don't care," Richard said. "I mean, I'm an asshole and you still like me. Right?"

"I tried liking you less." He shrugged helplessly. "It didn't work."

Richard smiled. "I know you did, I have a big fucking bruise on my lower back to prove it."

Jared dragged a hand all the way down Richard's back and fanned his fingers out, rubbing gently in circles. "Does it hurt?"

"Um, it's fine, you mainly hurt my pride."

"Sorry," Jared whispered and then kissed a spot right under Richard's ear.

"S'okay, I'm sorry too," Richard said and grabbed at Jared's hair. "oh, fuck, I really did miss you."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasn't going to write anymore for this but couldn't believe all this shit got cut out of 6x04 for time

"Are you sure this is it?" Richard said, frowning.

Jared looked at the Maps app on his phone. "It's the right address."

"Huh."

The house was large, elegant, in an affluent Santa Cruz neighbourhood. There was a nice car parked in the large driveway. Richard had parked Jared's Prius on the other side of the street.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

Jared bit his lip, considering. "No. No, Richard. Thank you. But I think I need to do this on my own."

Richard reached out and stroked his arm. "Okay. I'll wait right here. Call me if uh. You need me. Good luck."

Jared smiled gratefully, unbuckled and went outside, walked up to the house and rang the doorbell. Richard watched as a tall, grey-haired man shook his hand and welcomed him in. Richard didn't know why he was so nervous, it wasn't like it was him meeting his birth parents for the first time.

He was happy Jared had asked him to come along though. Things were - they were better, no scratch that, they were good, but they still weren't, like, perfect? He'd gone to Jared's condo to apologise again and like, make it right once and for all, and they had to Richard's genuine surprise and delight ended up making out on Jared's couch instead. But right when he'd thought, he'd really thought, Jared would like, ask him to go to bed and it would be sweet and tender and with prepared flow charts to guide Richard through it, he'd instead backed away and told him things were moving a little too fast.

"A-a-are you still mad at me?" Richard had stuttered, incredulous. Literally what more could he do?

"I don't know," Jared had answered. "I've been going through a difficult time, Richard. I do want this, so much, but I'm going to ask you to be a little bit patient with me."

Richard had swallowed down the hurt and disappointment and the very ungracious insult he'd been prepared to fling at Jared, and instead smiled a strained smile, said "Of course", gone home and jerked off like twice.

Jared and Gwart (another situation Richard was trying to deal with like an adult) had shown up for work the next morning and Richard had found them some space, on the end of a shared desk after Jared's specifications, and Jared was polite and didn't wear those fucking sunglasses and who the hell knew what Gwart made of it all. But Ethan was acting like a real dick so Richard didn't really have time to mull over it too much. He was in his office trying to figure out the best way to go forward with the whole Ethan situation when Jared knocked and came in. Richard shot to his feet, smiled.

"Hey, man!"

"Hi Richard. Do you have a moment?"

"Yeah of course uh, I always have time for you, Jared."

Jared smiled, sat down on the other side of Richard's desk. "I just got some news. I um, I got a genetic test to determine my Marfan syndrome diagnosis, and well, it revealed something else of interest. My birth parents are alive, still together, and living in Santa Cruz." He clutched at his collar. "I have their names, Richard. I have an address."

"Oh," Richard said. "wow."

"I want to meet them," Jared whispered. "I want to understand. And hopefully form a relationship."

"Wow," Richard said again. "oh."

"Um, do you think, maybe you could drive me?"

Richard nodded vigorously. "Yeah. Yep. Totally. I mean, of course, Jared. I'm uhh I'd love to."

Jared smiled, got up, paused, then leaned down and kissed Richard, just a brief little press of lips, turned and walked away. Richard sat there with his pulse racing. He was gonna, he was gonna drive the hell out of Jared to mother fucking Santa Cruz. Just watch him.

So there he was, parked in Santa Cruz and idly going through his emails, when Jared suddenly opened the car door and got in. "Let's go."

"Uh, that was quick?" Richard said, looking at the time on his phone. It hadn't even been ten minutes. "What happened?"

Jared covered his face with his hands and sobbed.

"Oh no oh uh, oh um," Richard said, unbuckled and twisted his torso to pull Jared into a hug. Jared held onto him and buried his face in his neck. "what the fuck, did they say some shit? I'll, I'll--"

White hot rage formed in Richard's chest. It wasn't an unfamiliar feeling. But feeling it on behalf of another person, that was new. He wasn't sure what he was going to do, exactly, but as soon as Jared let go of him he was definitely going to do it, and it would involve ripping those garbage boomers a new one.

"Don't be sad Ken," a voice said, and Richard looked up and Jared turned to see a young woman leaning down to look inside their car window. "I'm sure you'll make a sale soon." She grinned a toothy smile and turned to join several other people standing in the yard.

"What the fuck?" Richard said.

"Let's go, Richard."

"No, I'm gonna, I'm gonna," Richard started getting out of the car but Jared pulled him back with a strong grip.

"No," he said firmly, or as firmly as he could through the tears. "take me back to the hacker house."

They drove in silence for a long time.

"Soo," Richard finally piped up. "I was at like uhh Trader Joe's the other day. And um, they had, wow there's so much dairy free ice cream you know? So I bought a couple of flavours to like try out. Why don't we go back to my place instead, and we'll have some ice cream, and we'll find like a documentary or something, and we'll watch that..."

"I appreciate the offer, Richard," Jared said. "but I'd like to get back to Gwart now."

Richard pressed his lips tightly together. _Shut up, _he told himself. _shut up shut up shut up_.

He drove Jared to the hacker house and took a Lyft back home. He'd only bought that fucking ice cream to share with Jared but uh he felt kind of shitty, so he started eating it, right out of the tub, while casually surfing with his laptop on his knees. He looked up the address in Santa Cruz and Jared's parents' Facebook pages and the website of Jared's dad's business, toyed with the idea of DDOS-ing it. At the very least he could catfish his mom into being his Facebook friend and send her a bunch of My Little Pony porn. He'd gotten so far as to download some photos of a woman who looked like a "Brenda" when there was a knock at the door. He got up and answered it. It was Jared.

"Hey, Jared," Richard said, surprised.

"I'm sorry, it's late. I should have called."

"No, no, mi casa es su casa uhh, come in."

"I was talking to Big Head," Jared said, taking off his jacket. "and he made me realise some things."

"Oh? Cool. Like uh, like what?"

Jared smiled. "Like that I should take you up on that ice cream and documentary offer."

They were lying on Richard's bed, Richard's laptop glowing between them, sharing the tub of Soy Creamy Cherry Chocolate Chip. David Attenborough's pleasant voice informed them about the habits of some sort of South American frog species.

"Are you guys settling in okay?" Richard asked. "You and uh Gwart."

"Mm," Jared said. "she's... her style of leadership is very unlike yours."

Richard recognised that as being as close to Jared bitching about Gwart as he'd probably ever get and decided to shoot his shot. "Sure you don't want to come back and work for Pied Piper?"

"Thank you, Richard. But I'm committed," Jared said. "I'm seeing this through."

Fucking fucking fuck. "Okay, of course, I totally respect that." He cleared his throat. "Door's always open though. Like. If you want that job, it's yours like, no questions asked."

"Haven't you already replaced me?" Jared asked, licking his spoon.

Richard fucking cringed, he cringed, he couldn't believe what he was about to say, he honestly had no idea he was this far gone.

"Nobody could replace you, man."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this very quickly after watching the finale maybe don't read if you haven't seen it yet?

_10 years later_

"Richard. Richard. Wake up, my darling."

"Uhh. Yeah, okay? Uh." Richard squinted over at the digital alarm clock on his side table, before turning to Jared. "Not time to get up yet. You wanna... you wanna fool around, baby?"

Richard smiled and pressed a kiss to his husband's lips. Jared giggled, even in his forties he could still sound so boyish, and Richard loved him so much it ached. Or well, not ached. After sixteen years together, or well, eight sharing a bed, five wearing a ring, it was more a steady glow, a beautiful familiarity, than an ache or a pain. 

The wilderness years, those were painful. Richard had disappeared after the calculated Pied Piper fiasco. Left behind the tech world's biggest scandal and his fledgling relationship with Jared alongside it. Had gone to his childhood bedroom in Tulsa first, then to Xoiza, Dhaka, Nha Trang. Then, broke, lost, and finally ready to rejoin the real world, Richard had showed up on Jared's doorstep, hoping to God he still lived there, suddenly having a panic attack he would have - he would have found somebody to occupy Richard's place in his heart, _oh honey this is an old work buddy, maybe we can put him up for one night_ \- or worse, that he wouldn't want to see him at all, all those unanswered calls and texts and emails, that he would have turned cold, a stranger - but then Jared answered the door and his mouth fell open and Richard wasn't sure how long the hug there on Jared's doorstep lasted. As long as it needed to.

"Well of course you can stay!" Jared had said, delighted. "As long as you like!" 

He had a new job, working in an old folks' home. He told Richard over tea - brewed just like Richard liked it, not too strong - and Richard looked around the condo. 

"That's uh, that's nice, you always liked, working with the elderly. So how is life, otherwise, are you like, are you seeing anyone or..."

Jared smiled a little. "No."

His eyes stopped at Jared's bookshelf. There was a framed photo of Richard there. Younger, better looking. He didn't remember when the photo was taken. Jared always had his phone in his face in those days. 

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm like, sorry about everything."

"What's there to be sorry about?"

"Well uh, never returning your calls for one, huh."

"Oh," Jared whispered. "well. I forgive you. It must have been a terribly hard time."

"It wasn't great," Richard said.

"What were you up to? Oh, I worried so much!"

"Barely got out of bed the first six months, uh. Then I like, started hiking? Living like, without technology. I know, funny, me, right? Got uh, big into hiking. Then I went to South East Asia. Had an idea to track down Erlich. Not sure why, just to get some closure, really. Then the cheap living and nice food and nobody giving a fuck about Pied Piper just kind of... I don't know, it was... ended up staying for a little over a year. But then one day I was like, I don't know, I don't want to end up like a white beach bum in 'Nam. Have you ever met one? Ugh. I figure, I still have skills, I'm still employable? And uh. I came back. And uhh, I did some thinking, while I was away." Richard reached out, took Jared's hand. "I've made a lot of dumb mistakes in my life, and like... I think the dumbest thing I ever did was walk away from you. I regret that... way more than I do whatever happened with Pied Piper."

"You broke my heart," Jared confessed. His hand trembled a little in Richard's.

"Listen Jared, I'm not asking you to like, take me back, let's just start where we left off, eating ice cream in bed and uh, whatever, but like, if - if - if you gave me another chance, I would swear on my fucking life, I would never leave again and uh, I just want to know, like, you don't have to like say anything right now, I just want to know, is there, is there a chance in hell? For uh, for you and me?"

Jared had just looked at him, like he'd looked at him the day he'd come to hand over a bottle of champagne a little over eight years earlier, and that had been all the answer Richard needed.

Richard applied to nearly four hundred jobs over the next year. He got three interviews. All the questions in the interviews were rat-based.

Richard didn't really cry easily, but a year's worth of rejection on the job market can wear a man down. "I'm Tonya Harding," he'd sobbed lying in Jared's arms one night. "all I can do now is become a celebrity wrestler."

"Listen to me. You are not Tonya Harding! You are Kristi Yamaguchi. Your Olympic career might be over, but just you wait, you will blow everyone away on Dancing With the Stars. You just have to be patient, Richard. The right opportunity will come along."

"Why don't you just come work at Stanford?" Big Head had asked him one day. Richard was visiting him in his office. His days were long and empty and Big Head never seemed busy, unless he had to give a speech or cut a ribbon or something. 

"At Stanford?" Richard frowned.

"I need a new Tethics professor. They have like ten applicants they want me to interview. TEN!" Big Head sighed. "That's going to take like.. a day. I'd rather just give the job to you."

A year's worth of rejection on the job market can also make a man reevaluate some of the things he'll do for a living.

"No," Jared said, bringing him back to the present. "I didn't wake you up to fool around. I just wanted to remind you they're shooting the documentary today, you remember, don't you?"

"Uh... yeah. Yeah, that's today."

"Did you want some extra time to prepare? Pick out an outfit? Maybe something tweedy. Oh, you look so good in tweed!"

Richard yawned. "Nah. I'll just wear whatever. Who cares."

"Well, since you're awake, why don't you make Audrey's day and make your famous waffles for breakfast?"

"Audrey's day or your day?"

Jared grinned. "Maybe both."

They'd been Audrey's foster parents since she was four. She was six now. It was one of those ideas Jared had quietly introduced and not let go of and finally, terrified out of his wits, Richard had agreed. It had gone... weirdly well. Jared was working on him to take in another child. They could convert the hobby room into a third bedroom, he argued. So far, Richard had said no. So far.

"Okay, okay." Richard stretched, put on his robe and slippers. 

"Great," Jared said, fluffing his pillow. "wake us when they're ready."

Richard gave an incredulous little sound and grinned, shook his head, before padding into the kitchen. As he whisked together eggs and soy milk and flour and sugar he wondered what the interviews were going to be like. Tomorrow they were going to film a reunion at Jian-Yang's house. He was looking forward to that. He hadn't seen Monica for years. He saw Gilfoyle and Dinesh occasionally, but real life and work kept them too busy to socialise much. 

He flipped on the radio. Oh fuck yeah, "Creep" was playing. He sang along as he poured the first ladle of batter into the waffle iron. _I wish I was special, you're so very special..._

It wasn't really true though. He was fine just being ordinary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am still processing that finale but first impression: it was kind of gorgeous? And true to the characters? Looking beyond the obvious crow-eating of having to teach a Belson subject, what better career than a tech ethics professor for Richard? And Jared was happy? And Gilfoyle and Dinesh are basically married? Gavin and Denpok ARE married? And Russ' hairline is down at his eyebrows? And I guess most importantly, someone who had the choice between all the money and not doing harm was depicted making the right choice and not being punished for it, which is like the only lesson I even want to hear in a world where these hideous greedy tech assholes are on a crash course for world destruction. Like. I have a glowy feeling and it was a worthy finale for a great, great, great fucking show.
> 
> I will miss the fandom though!!


	4. Bonus track

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a scene in the finale which very heavily implies this happened and I had to write it so I'll just tack it on the end here

It was april 2026 and Dinesh was about to make a mistake he would never live down, that would haunt him for years. He was putting away the leftovers of their meal in the kitchen, singing along to the radio, when Gilfoyle came in, opened the fridge, and got a beer.

"Hey," Dinesh said. Gilfoyle just shot him a look. "what?"

"Don't 'hey' me like you're happy to see me. We were in the same room a minute ago."

"Okay. Asshole. That got your attention?"

"What?"

"I love this fucking song."

"Of course you do."

"Dance with me?"

"Absolutely not."

"I'll make you a screwdriver."

Gilfoyle looked like he mulled it over, then closed the curtains.

"The neighbours know we fuck," Dinesh said, rolling his eyes. "remember the inflatable pool incident?"

"This is far more embarrassing."

Gilfoyle put his hands to Dinesh's waist and Dinesh put his hands on Gilfoyle's arms - fuck, the feel of them still got him so hot after what, nearly five years of free access now - and they swayed to the music. Well, swaying was a nice word for what Gilfoyle was doing, which was more stuttering on legs. Dinesh looked up at his tall, hot, smart, two left feet-owning, stupid fucking asshole boyfriend. His hair was getting really long. Dinesh kept telling him he looked like a demented hobo and Gilfoyle would just scowl at him, not exactly proving him wrong. But like on one hand it was embarrassing to be even seen with him but on the other Dinesh also really liked tugging it and pulling on it and playing with it, so his efforts to get him to cut it weren't too convincing. He raised a hand and twisted some of it around his fingers. Gilfoyle responded by leaning down a little and kissing him. It was a nice kiss, sort of gentle and firm, not one that tried to turn into something more, just a familiar and sweet one. Dinesh kissed back and smiled.

"I love you. So much." he said.

Gilfoyle's eyes widened behind his glasses, making them look anime huge.

"Fuck," Dinesh said. "I take it back. I hate you."

"Why don't you make me that screwdriver now. Since you LOVE me so much."

"Why don't you dive headfirst into a woodchipper, Canada Goose."

"That would make you sad. Since you love me so much."

"I'm glad John Candy and Leonard Cohen are dead. I hope Neil Young is next."

"When I die, will you stay single forever because you suck, or because you loved me so much?"

Dinesh shot him a venomous look, then flung the curtains open and opened the window, stuck his head out. "If anybody's interested, me and Gilfoyle were just waltzing to a Kelly Clarkson song!"


End file.
